Stick, love the poetry

2011-04-02T12:58:00.001-07:00

What's with this two and fro controversy
Revolving around my mind and me
I dont know if its you i want
I dont know if i can hold on
The doubt is definitely
But my feelings continue indefinite
I cant decide
But time is not giving me a chance.

2010-07-12T06:27:00.000-07:00

movies, new friends, shopping. Awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Bought new Ben Sherman Jeans and Tee. Haha made it to the VIP thing, 10% discount. fuckyeah

Chloe was disturbing. Fucking was. And also compare to what's happening omg fucking coincidence. The guy who told me it's a fkin horror movie can go slap himself with his dick. Wtf sia. The movie's revolving around is obssessed pigeon-like prostitute. Everything was fine until the movie progressed further and weird shit started happening. Lesbian-ism and shit. I swear she's one hellofa scary lesbian.

But nonetheless great weekend!

I still dont know what to study. so many courses but i still can't make up my mind. Audio? Tourism? Hotel Management?

Hate NS. fkin waste of time. and my colleagues are turning into mofos. Can't take it.

Who wanna travel with me ? :D

2010-06-15T05:09:00.001-07:00

reminds me much of you, cme back k

2010-05-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

Ive not heard from her, im dead worried, im most afraid.

i had a dream, i dreamt of meeting her mum.
Education and money huh.
Those were the first two questions that came right at me in my dream.
i have to figure that out, it might just be a dream
but hey i feel it does make sense.

i just hope youre alright babe. im here you know that, do give me a call or at least a text so i know you're alright. Soon.

2010-05-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

if you can wait till i get home,
and i swear to you that we can make this last
if you can wait till i get home,
then i swear come tomorow, this will all be in our past
well it might be for the best

2010-05-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

thanks to everyone or making that one day so great just for me.
Thanks to all the wishes and thanks for being there all this while.
i miss you dad, thanks for your presents i love it.
Thanks mum for all that youve done
and thank god for everything.

2010-05-14T05:32:00.000-07:00

its cute how you hesitate to muster that courage hahaha i just love the way you look so deep into thought. babe it was awesome, the best time ive had this year. ill trace you like paper, ill knead you like clay, ill hold you like baby; a graceful ballet. flower pot uncle >:(

2010-05-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

everyday's your day

2010-04-27T06:14:00.000-07:00

We are no different from Roswell and Ayden.
Just that, if you were Roswell and me Ayden,
I wouldve taken that stray for you.

2010-04-27T06:10:00.000-07:00

i got them muscle juice!! hahaha
14th motherfakkaaa!!
we gonna hit the beach like hooooola

2010-04-25T08:28:00.001-07:00

No one i know has any idea how hard it is for her.
I'll stay and unfuck your life. Bit by bit, or at least ill try.
If you go down, ill go with you

2010-04-19T09:55:00.000-07:00

Many ask what is love?

Some say it's sacrifice.
Some say it's letting go.
Some say it's giving.
Some say it's ... you name it.

In my opinion, i think what love actually means is really hard to put in words. The fact that everyone has their own interpretation is probably how they felt love. To me, ive yet to find that meaning, but yet again, it's better i don't. To me love should be unknown, and if were to put in words, infinite to describe seriously. Love can be at the same time giving, sacrifice, letting go etc. To me love is the process of finding out what love is with that one special person. Not really finding but more like feeling it. The more we dont know, the more we want to know and to do so, we stay. I guess love to me is an adventure into a realm with no answers but just by being there, it already feels amazing, a river that brings us everywhere and anywhere, just with that special person.

2010-04-18T09:37:00.001-07:00

3mnths and ongoing balls!
fkin lame to count by months
bt who the fk cares :)

2010-04-18T01:20:00.000-07:00

My heart is like a fcking rainbow.

It's filled with love and it stays in the same place and slowly it gets stronger
I feel so colourful inside.
And it's because she came along and made me feel again.
And then all the memories (OHHHH THE AWESOME MEMORIES OMFG) keeps
flooding into my brain and i feel elated
Actually much more than that.
And my heart never fails.
It just makes me love her over and over again.
Like it's actually in rewind and it never gets old.
It only beats for her i swear.
I wish i could share her nightmares,
Even if they're recurrent nightmares so it would make it all less stressful.
She'll keep waking up knowing there's someone willing to share her burden and will.
Get well soon my dear, i'll reassure you as many times as you want and even if you'rea moron, you're my moron alright?
Trust me you're not sick
I'll share that with you too
Yep.
Oh,
You're welcome, B.
I'm glad my surprise fkin worked.
Hee, so am i B.
OH AND THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING ME INTO YOUR LIFE.
Totally sweet of you.
And yeah at least got hug.
And kiss.
Fk yeah!
Before that i'd forgotten what it's like to hold someone and think, "omfg, she's in my arms."
It gives you this rush, like you're on ganja or smth.
And then before the cabbed stopped my mind was really blank, cause i was pretty sad i had to let you go that early. But im so glad you acted cause it did make my trip there alot more memorable and definitely better.
I'm glad you had the courage, i know you've always had it.
I didn't know what you tasted like but it sure was yummy as well!
Yummy.
I like.
ANYWAY, i wouldnt mind reading an entire book,
I LOVE YOU BABE.
YUP! TTM.
You definitely made my day, but dont blame your mum for it, for it doesnt take away the fact
that i was with you too.
(:
The same B, i do too.

You made me come back to life.

2010-04-13T05:01:00.000-07:00

no 'maybe'
i know you're good
too kind infact and
too good too be true either.
lucky i got you just in time.

more surprises for you coming breadstick
just wait :D ill fkin make you love me more than you do
but never more than i do you

2010-04-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

i tried my best i did.
it hurts so bad uh. but sometimes to keep running you gotta think positive.
well at least i met her, got a hug a kiss and most importantly she's fine. :)
well pictures can wait i guess.
i hope i made your day somehow, you did make mine, just so you know niko.

Thanks aaron for really helping me out, i owe you brother, anything just name it. thanks again.

imissyoulikeastronautsmisshome

2010-04-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

Hey, hey, hey

Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moonbeam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

Hey soul sister, ain't the Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight
Hey, hey,hey

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one-track mind like me
You gave my life direction, a game show love connection we can't deny
I'm so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna, and I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight

The way you can't cut a rug, watching you's the only drug I need
You're so gangsta, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see, I can be myself now finally, in fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you be with me

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do tonight,
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight
Hey, hey,hey

Tonight
Hey, hey,hey

Tonight

For You B. :)
We'll make it, We'll make it

2010-04-08T06:58:00.000-07:00

I'm a little fig plucker
I pluck figs
I'm the best little fig plucker
That ever plucked a fig

OTP with niko. Now this's what i call a
Strawberry Avalanche.
Dont cry k, imma spider killer
ily.
MONDAY MONDAY PLEASE...........

2010-03-07T01:51:00.001-08:00

I wish can land on this moon with you.
We'd have space biscuits and gravity juice.
Play this song, this song you love so much.
This song that reminds you of me
and me of my spaceship, you.

What is this heavy feeling as if it's dropping
Hold it niko, hold it before it drops lower
It's beating so weirdly, it makes me sad.
It's just the beginning of an adventure
An adventure.
Adventure.

Nikolette.

2010-03-07T01:26:00.001-08:00

i really feel soo worn out, still there's camp.
miss N crazy. it's so depressing lah aiyo

2010-02-21T03:01:00.001-08:00

camp camp camp camp camp
dull and dull and dull and dull
suffocating me suffocating me
help help help help help help!
SIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAN

2010-01-30T19:36:00.000-08:00

To: Adelaide, Bjorn, Charmaine, Minseok, Aaron, Ben, Stacey, Hongyi, Jinwoon, Samuel, Rafi, Wayne, Aloysious, Yorkseng, Weijun, Jo.

Thanks for turning up, your presence's very much appreciated.
I really hope to see you guys soon, hopefully i've stories to tell and so do you :) will be looking forward to our next meet. Till then take care guys

And to Aaron, thanks for being a great friend, a brother. To be honest, my life would've been very very much different ( Negatively ) if it weren't for you. Thanks for being there and this friendship forged between us can be confidently guaranteed non-transient haha! Take care and good luck alright.

P.S: My doors are always open to your troubles as well, all you need too is but to ask :)

2010-01-29T12:29:00.001-08:00

I would like to take time to thank some people for making my friday very much enjoyable and worth remembering,
Jacob
Zul
Aida+BF
Steph
Nabeel
Syad
Harith
Fuzz
Weiern
Hilmi
Brian
Gab
Kahleong+GF
Shafiq
i hope i didnt leave anyone out.
Haha thank god i met you guys cause it sure has given much joy in my life. Thanks alot for making a disaster into something much much better than ive expected. See ya guys soon! take care :)
And also to Insyeera, been awhile since we've met and you've no idea how nice it is to finally catch up. Remember to watch those movies i mentioned! Take care alrights, espacially your health.

2010-01-27T08:14:00.000-08:00

Dad just asked my mum whether he could send me off and as usualy mum disagrees. I dont know. I have no say. She she says, ill usually just take it all in and shut up, the more i say, the higher tendency for her to cry and i dont want that. But fuck long time since ive seen him sia. I really dont know.

And monday he asks us out for dinner, my mum was very reluctant and the way she conveyed it wasnt even convincing. She was like i dont know lah up to you all. I also feel ifi choose to at least have dinner withhim since he wont be sending me off on tues, she will still cry. How sia like that..

2010-01-25T12:05:00.000-08:00

Just got a mail from dad,

" ASSALAMUALAIKUM Handsome how are u? PAPA miss u all pls let papa know where n when u going to NS. I would like to sent u so dat i can apply leave. Oh ya how is ur preparation? Anymore jamming? By d way CONGRATULATION Pools beat Spurs we lost to a better team. PLS sent my best regards to all papa really miss my children. PLS KEEP IN TOUCH... LOVE U ALL BAZLEE AIDIL LYNDA. "

We miss you to.

Now that ive a week left till NS i feel like meeting my close friends, those dear to me.
Sec sch friends, Band friends, Poly friends, Insyeera, Nad, Nat and prolly some of my ex's hahaha. so many people so little time.
Now that NS is coming i guess freedom is out of the question since im gonna start studying too
so i really hope i could spend time with you guys before my country robs away my freedom haha :)

Then again many people ask me, "So how looking forward to it?" All i can say is, i guess ill just make the best out of it yeah? and hopefully NS will mould me into someone better, i hope. Can't wait to start studying again, my brains been kinda rusty for awhile, gotta get back.

Gonna start saving from now, make do with what i have so hopefully by 28 or so i would get to travel to world. Thats ultimately my life's goal, really hope i can achieve it.

So, 7 days, 160 minutes, 10080 minutes, 604800 seconds. Aint much.
But then again, gotta make the best out of everything :)

I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

2010-01-18T11:36:00.001-08:00

Vow and sink in the wave
But when you've woken up
Pieces will have fell in two
I've still got some laying next to me
Right next to waht means the most to me
What still makes sense
When you're surrounded & swallowed whole
You just trust and the fear
Lingers rights in front of you
Now I wonder if it's all a learning curve to find
Or just a fucking waste of time
Is there somebody holding out on me?
There was a contemptuous song ringing in my ear
When I was never sold
When I was involved
Next to you
I was hoping that tonight that I could see a vision
Ghost eyes, show me
Hellfire or heaven
There was a contemptuous song ringing in my ear
When I was never sold
When I was involved
The furthest truth

Sights and Sounds

Liar.

2010-01-01T08:19:00.000-08:00

He hiss and weave deceitful stories
To lure the ones who tried to trust
Another word, another lie
Trying so hard to catch the eye
So how about you save your breath
Your cover's blown, it's pellucid to hear

Liar, liar
Liar, liar

Go away its starting to swoon me
Stop putting up a false pretense
Cause it'll only get you
It'll only get you in the end
Try to keep it close to you
Cause it's the only thing that you'll have left

You and me just like a thief and
A oh-so reluctant cop to catch you
For a crime many would commit
You tell me about your fame
Put it aside you're such a shame
Not another of your false story

Just fuck off
"Mr.Popularity"

Go away its starting to swoon me
Stop putting up a false pretense
Cause it'll only get you
It'll only get you in the end
Try to keep it close to you
Cause it's the only thing that you'll have left

Liar, Liar
Liar, Liar
Liar, Liar
Liar, Ends here.

2009-12-27T18:19:00.000-08:00

I used to think that people who deliberately put the person they like through series of tests to judge their response are fked up, i always thought that you should not put them through tests like these as if you have the right to judge them and choose. I always thought if you liked that person alot why not judge them naturally when you are in a relationship instead of deliberately testing them out before you jump in. But, i was young and naive then.

Yesterdays conversation wth aaron made me think abit. I wouldnt say what stated above is bad, infact it is good not to test them like that, infact its more then good, fucking good. But like what he said, that is right in the ideal world but in this world? It's wrong. We prolly have to put them through tests like these. I was the kinda person who likes, jump in and see where it goes. But come to think of it, i didnt really know what i was getting into. People usually wait till theyre in a relationship then they realise certain things bout their partners they shouldve known before. Shouldnt we already talk about relationship before even entering a one?

Then he told me about what jes asked him which i felt was really true as well. I'm guilty of sometimes using the word love and not mean it, prolly just for the sake of saying or for the sake of ending something with a romantic/sweet touch. But really are we even there yet to use the word love? Infact what aaron said is so true, the word has degraded so much it becomes so casual. But do we really know what is it or is it what we think it is? Even the word like has meaning before now im sure people view it as a word of confusion, unsureness (if there is such a word) and the lack of feeling. But seriously if i went up to you and honestly told you "hey, all this while i actually like/adore you, alot" isnt it already meaningful? i just think we dont know what love is to jump into using it like that. Even like has deep meaning, many people would do ridiculous things for the person they like. Haha infact doesnt like come before love? and im sure majority would agree their relationship was much better before it was an official relationship, prolly the courting period, or the "Like" period :P hahaha

Then he also asked me if i've any idea why most marraige mightve failed. Well the first thing i thought was the lost of feelings but what mightve triggered that? Work. Prolly after marraige life's pretty much a routine and it tires us out that we lost the interest or motivation to do anything special anymore. And prolly cause marraige is like the ultimate goal, then prolly kids, but after that i dont know what's there to aim for and prolly people get bored or they start to loose feelings. i mean for many of us marraige is the ultimate goal for our relationship. Once we reached that point its like WOOOOOOO, then what now? Life goes on, married.

But i miss those times when we were young and naive. Not to mention genuine but as we grow older, genuine turns to gullible.

Oh and the word "i dont know" which im sure many people love to use it. If our partner treats us like shit, the answer is obvious what we should do, break up. But when that person still says " i don't know " the possibility of that person telling you a one sided story is quite high. I mean who admits when they fart. And people will only break when they know there's nothing to loose, but the fact they hold on to something like that, there is confirm something to gain from it.
"He/she treats me like shit"
"Break ah"
"I don't know"
Thats prolly cause he might be telling his friends that too.
Both to blame.

2009-12-25T01:31:00.000-08:00

Got a song to finish, feel like drawing. Gonna draw, draw, draw. Christmas was no different from the past years, boring! Can't wait for sunday, monday and tuesday! I wonder what are we gonna do for new years. Hmmm :/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhzJO34SCoc
go watch the vid! nice song but i doubt many would hahaha they disabled embedding or i would've.

i need ideas, ideas, ideas

2009-12-15T21:38:00.001-08:00

Manifest my mind, my chest

Flashbacks of past, present, future cries
Echoes of death still the brave men hearts
Spare and not be spared for this ain't a game
Of cat chase mouse more like a bullet to my brain
Trust your life to the hands of a murderer
For the murder can only be triggered by you

Shots stuck in my mind
Imprisoned by my own device
You can run but you can't hide
From these chains that chain you
Hold you to your mind

Fire! Fire! They fall to the ground
One by one under the amber skies
Is this heaven's wrath for those who deserve
Or is this hell preaching to the ground above
This war shall not end if the bullets don't fly
Straight at the ones who deserve to die

Shots stuck in my mind
Imprisoned by my own device
You can run but you can't hide
From these chains that chain you
Hold you to your mind

Why woah why
Does it turn out like this
Is this why we exist?
Why woah why
Can't I..
Can't I forget the..

Shot stuck in my mind
Imprisoned by my own device
You can run but you can't hide
From this chains that chain you
Hold you to your mind

new song up bout war :D

btw i cant believe i watched american pie 7 in public with nad and wani hahahah (Y)

2009-12-07T09:50:00.001-08:00

Fade

Embrace yourself and do not falter
I know it's biting through your skin
It's not that easy but don't surrender
Don't let this day be your defeat
I know you suffer and its unfair
For the last time just stay with me

For tonight keep me warm and keep me safe, I hope
To see tomorrow's light of day
Don't let this be the end
I'll pray to God i'll pray cause inside i know
That for me you're always here
You never fail to erase my fears

Light this candle with that spark
Between you and me right at the start
We were broken from the beginning
Just let it burn right till the end
Let this candle represent my heart
But please dont leave me alone in this dark

For tonight keep me warm and keep me safe, I hope
To see tomorrow's light of day
Don't let this be the end
I'll pray to God i'll pray cause inside i know
That for me you're always here
You never fail to erase my fears

New song wrote! :) neways nad showed me this video i once watched but forgotten and wouldn't wanna forget again. so sad :(

2009-12-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

Awesome song!

Case 39's fked. Boring show besides their realistic effects like the guy dislocating or breaking his jaw after getting punched. haha nonetheless it was a great day :).
I've always wanted to travel to world, to see mountains, see streams, meadows, trees from high up, smell the air in caves, hear the sounds of a waterfall and many more. I wanna backpack and do all these. Anyone wanna come? :D

2009-12-03T08:32:00.000-08:00

I BOUGHT NEW KICKS!
Bought the Nike SB Dunk High "Bloody Gums"

Andddd
Nike SB Blaze "Green Spark"

And also 2 tees shirts haha damn happy la!
Now left with a LED tee, new pair of jeans and a pair of awesome shades :D gotta work more -.-

Neways hitting the movies tmrw at amk hub ( hope i don't get lost since i seldom go there ).
Been tryna make songs these few days but cant think of any, mind's pretty blank. I wanna go to malaysia and shop again B]

2009-11-09T11:27:00.000-08:00

I found you imperfect and hectic
I found you calm and beautiful
I know that something is missing
But i found that piece in you

Your words sometimes Red sometimes Blue
Trust me i still enjoy that Purple you

How much more pellucid can this be
That my novacaine's your benign smile to see

Cause a friend is one of a kind
But a true friend is kinda hard to find

2009-11-09T11:22:00.000-08:00

We're all ordinary people
With ordinary needs
Searching for that extraordinary person
Love's an ordinary need.

2009-11-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

This hairstyle one a girl would be fkin hot sia. The girl i saw that day had this hairstyle and she looked like this model sia. FUHH now who'd say this girl isnt hot? In fact it'll be the picture of the day. haha

Picture of the day:

This song reminds me of times 5 years ago or more when i was still playing runescape. This song is a fkin classic man, you guys will love it :D

Song of the day:

Artist: Staind Lyrics
Song: So Far Away Lyrics

This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

(chorus)
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and Im not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing ok
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before

Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

(chorus)

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

(chorus)

Can't stop watching this

Video of the day:

2009-11-03T02:15:00.000-08:00

This picture might look ordinary, but i would really like to travel down this road cause in singapore there arent sceneries like these. i swear i would walk.

Picture of the day:

Song of the day:

I used to feel so invincible
'Til I was seconds away from losing everything
There's nothing worse than feeling alone
And my world was falling
With no one to catch me
It all seems to trivial
I guess I'm not as strong
Not even close

I'm on my own
Never been more afraid to leave
Our love has gone
Hand in hand and we'll sing this song
We've lost our homes
It's only gonna get better
If we work as one
Tomorrow can be brighter for us all

It's all over now and again and maybe after
I can just skip straight through the second chapter
Wake up with my whole life around me
Bring twice is falling to pieces

It can't be worse than feeling alone
And my world was falling
With no one to catch me
It all seems so trivial
I guess I'm not as strong
Not even close

I'm on my own
Never been more afraid to leave
Our love has gone
Hand in hand and we'll sing this song
We've lost our homes
It's only gonna get better
If we work as one
Tomorrow can be brighter for us all

We're a part of it
Can't deny it
Our hearts are all bleeding as one
From the east side, to the west side
I'll turn my back on no one

I'm on my own
Never been more afraid to leave
Our love has gone
Hand in hand and we'll sing this song
We've lost our homes
It's only gonna get better
If we work as one
Tomorrow can be brighter for us all (x2)

Video of the day:

ENJOY PEOPLE :)

2009-11-01T23:19:00.000-08:00

I've always loved sceneries. Explains why my dream is just to travel, just makes me fucking happy looking at pictures of mountains, seas, cliffs and stuff.

Picture of the day:

Song of the day:

Lyric's:

And it's all in how you mix the two,
And it starts just where the light exists.
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
And it burns a hole,
Through everyone that feels it.

Well you're never gonna find it,
If you're looking for it,
Won't come your way,yeah
Well you'll never find it,
If your looking for it. (looking for it)

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking,
Rather waste some time with you.

And you never would have thought in the end,
How amazing it feels just to live again,
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
It burns a hole, through everyone that feels it.

Well you're never gonna find it,
If you're looking for it, won't come your way, yeah
Well you'll never find it, if you're looking for it. (looking for it)

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.

Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste some time with you.

(Time with you... time with you time with you
Waste some time with you... waste some time with you)

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste my time with you.

Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste my time with you.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.

Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...

(fading)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.

Video of the day:

WOOHOO LOLS

2009-10-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

Today was fine like any other day until i stepped through those doors with my mask on. The minute it hit my eyes, my heart sank, deeper then the Titanic. We were joking and laughing our way as we made it to the hospital, we were feeling pretty fine. There laid my uncle, dad's brother, he could barely open his eyes let alone raise his hands. It was heart-wrenching. Bandages embraced his head and tubes like wires everywhere from his hands to the mouth.

My uncle went for an operation, a tumour near the forehead. It was fine until his brain was infected. If you guys read the newpaper if im not wrong it was on a friday last week. In fact its hard to miss since its on the front page. Swandi, a former S-League coach in hospital after he was diagnosed with a tumour growing in his head, unaware for 6-7 years. And the worst part is, he looks exactly and i mean really 99% like my dad. My mum just couldnt hold her tears, i wouldve cried so hard with her but i held back. i felt so bad, so guilty for i dont know what reason to at all.

Then as i stood beside him he raised his hands and i held it, my brother leaned forward to said a few words, i couldnt hear what it was but i could only see him lay there nodding his head. I felt i had to say something, i needed to say something, but i couldnt speak, i didnt know what to say. It was as if reality strucked me so hard, i fell speechless as i stood there holding his hand and looking at him as he lay there, thinking to myself how sympathetic he looked and how he resembles my dad soo much. i miss him and i miss family.

Neways luckily when we visited him that evening he just got outta ICU, if i were to see in in ICU im sure i couldn't have held back. And if i would've said somehing just now i'd tell him " Thanks for everything and i hope you get well soon" i know it isnt much cause till now im still quite speechless.

- My heart's a picture, it tells a story but it doesn't beat.

2012

2009-10-11T00:37:00.000-07:00

21st december 2012, why is this date so significant?
Well according to many scientist studying the ancient Mayan texts suggest that the Mayans predicted this day to be the coming of a new age. A big change which probably suggests the coming of the end of the World. Not only are their predictions very accurate, Nostradamus himself predicted many things that have already came true today and he himself suggests 2012. His theory lies more on the alignment of the sun with the galaxy that shall bring much havoc onto earth. His prediction of global warming, wars, tsunami, hurricanes have all came true. However he does suggest, like the Hopi Indians, that there is still hope. It depends on us to choose the path towards destruction or salvation. Well i watched this documentary i downloaded concentrating on Nostradamus Predictions and it was really interesting, that was abit of the 1hr 30mins show for you. You guys should check it out, have an open mind ;)

So neways i found this really cool video from a friend who shared it on facebook so i had to share it too for this is the best advertisement i've ever seen in my life.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/posted.php?id=674844192&share_id=174166573295&comments=1#s174166573295
go check it out ;)

Going for dinner later to celebrate granddad's bday. :) Aaron prolly coming over for dota tonight haha.

Here's a big shoutout to a friend who recently seems to be not herself and very depressed.
This might be a really hard time for you be whatever the problem is, show strength and you shall conquer, show weakness you'll only crumble further. Try and stay positive no matter how hard it is, if you've a problem in i'm here to listen cause i know how it feels to keep everything inside. it sucks. Like i said, don't burden the whole weight onto your heart, it might just collapse one day and hurt you more. Cry if you want but cry only once, make it the best ;) and a little quote to you that i've seen many times.
"What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger."
stay strong my dear ;)

2009-09-29T20:00:00.001-07:00

Finally got the playlist done on my blog, check out the new songs people :) just go to the menu on the player and theres a few songs i just can't stop listening to all there. Its a mixture of hardcore, rock and just good music :D enjoy. Neways going to session later at clifts house and off to jamming, been quite awhile since i last touched the drums. Hope today would be fruitful and not just time wasted haha oh and i really screwed my sleeping time, now its pushed all the way 6-7am. i've yet to sleep today, oh no someone put me to sleep at 11pm! Just watched 300 and Good Luck Chuck on my laptop, like nahse.

Oh! Does anyone know where i can find a brim beanie like this?

oh my bro just got back from thailand! bought me a tee shirt with the words " Casanova never dies". Since when was i fucking one -.- and he bought a few more tees which are just huge and i cant fit em well besides a fedora, some shirts and berms the rest are just huge. Oh and he bought this really cool Rock Edition Absolut Vodka, it's like Absolut in leather studded casing and he bought it for only $20 sgd i think hahaha thailand's fucking cheap.

Nothing much for now, hope you guys enjoy the new songs on my blog :D

2009-09-28T06:01:00.000-07:00

FUCKING AWESOME SONG!

Apocalypse intro sound alike haha!

2009-09-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

to cut or not to cut hair? hmm :/

Good Morning Ms. Life

2009-09-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Ms. Life

Have you ever played this game called life
Where broken hearts are experience
And love to survive
But your saves can't be loaded
And your mistakes can't be saved
Cause this life is unfair
So is this game we all play

But we have to accept the fact that she is beautiful
The fact that everything has meaning and cant you see
What shes given me
That every breath you take
is the very heartbeat she can choose to defeat

Sometime she attends
But she's fragile and she still depends
Cause nothing is perfect but life aint nothing
So stop complaining start living
Be your own strength and she will be your queen

Cant we just accept the fact that she is beautiful
The fact that everything has meaning and cant you see
What shes given me
That every breath you take
is the very heartbeat she can choose to defeat

btw "she" is life, not some gay love song. (and this is not part of the song.)

HAPPY BDAY AMINAH!

2009-09-17T11:02:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SITI AMINAH! FINALLY 18 CAN GO CLUBBING MORE HAHA!

Enjoy your day and stop lazing around at home like i do!

dredg

2009-09-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Watchout for 2:12! the drummer play damn enthu sia like nahse!

Nothing much happened today besides soccer. My legs are damn sore. Neways going to get my raya clothing tmrw with nurul then saturday and sunday will be celebrating tay and rafi bday, like nahse only alot of foooddahh. oh btw check out these links as well, embedding disabled here, awesome bands :D.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVO_acxSCKg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2qfoPTYD1E&feature=related

2009-09-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

sometimes we all just feel like crying, i do now.

2009-09-02T12:38:00.001-07:00

my neck still hurts from the random fat bastard landing on me at baybeats. who the fuck bodysurfs a fat dude. what's worse was he landed on me from behind, backstabbed, cheap bastard. and my head took the entire impact! wahhh pain siaaa. haha but baybeats was fun right guys? besides adelaide losing a half a toe nail, syad being trampled on and pulled 5meters on the ground, matreps taking advantage of the moshing to settle scores with rival gang members, people beating each other up for the fun of it even when the song goes slow, rubbing sweat at one another as if it were fine and last but not least, huge people bodysurfing and landing right onto you. :D but im not complaining right? haha :P

the few days after that's kinda boring. gonna clean up my house soon. YES CLEAN UP. i wanna club, try clubbing at least haha. soccer later then session with seasonscape and rafi. gonna try things out :) come to think of it, this is actually my first ever proper blog post like how everyone post their day to day blah blahs, like anyone cares. but i know my readers do, RIGHT?! :D

MJ

2009-08-22T20:08:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MJ :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
(i know it isn't much and there isn't any chikan treat)

Nats' Poem

2009-08-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

Velvet Vocals

You were a song writen within the shadows
Brought to daily life with your sweet libretto
Followed by the rhythmic sounds of a piccolo and accompanied by an orchestra of endless sorrow
Caught up in the emotions of the show; Velvet vocals flooding my enchanted soul
Tainted smirks behind the window; Wrenched through life's mysterious willow.
I wake up from a tear soaked pillow
A dream which I now feel is hollow

-Natalia

NICE SIOL she did this in less than 5mins. i find it... INCREDIBLE. woo nahse

Sing Song Sung

2009-08-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

Kids (thanks nat!)

The casualties i feel your pain
There is no need for you to hide in shame
Unfair it may be to be in the shoes
Of you and I

Left in their hands they chose to decide
The outcome of life in a sorry plight
So sing with me as i scream this song
For the casualties
I'm a casualty

Why can't you just say that you're sorry
It's not the way it is supposed to be
Make a sacrifice, he's not here tonight
Don't play your disguise
That paper castle i sure to destroy

Raised a soldier you built me with iron
Now blow me away like matchstick dolls
Handcuffed and silenced
Our eyes see ears listened
So sing with me as i scream this song
For the casualties
I'm a casualty

Why can't you just say that you're sorry
It's not the way it is supposed to be
Make a sacrifice, he's not here tonight
Don't play your disguise
That paper castle i sure to destroy

Aiyo

2009-08-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know if i'm taking this too seriously. If you are in a relationship at my age, do you see yourself with that girl/boy till marriage or only in present? Sometimes we go into a relationship with no confidence or whatsoever of it ever lasting that long. Or are we in it for sake of having a relationship? Or what are we feeling towards the other just temporary? Or do we just want to have fun? Cause to me, eventhough i'm only 18 i feel it's only right to step into a relationship i'm confident would last till death. I wouldn't want to commit into something knowing it would end some where along in the future or have no confidence of it ever lasting that far. I'm sure no one would commit into something they aren't sure about, would you loan a million dollars to a stranger who needs it urgently? No.

Well lasting till death might seem abit too far prolly the least marriage. Even so being married is just a title. My mum once said, "No one is ever right to call someone theirs, till death" which is true. I mean i've had Exs and from each i learnt many lessons. Whether is it problems with myself, problems with relationships etc. but i've not been in a long relationship. Which kinda sucks.

And some friends ask me "Why think so far?" Then again, am i taking this too seriously haha shit.
JIALAT LAHH LIKE THAT!! haha dear handful of readers, is what i'm saying true or is my mind fucking me up? HAHA

2009-08-16T13:20:00.001-07:00

just something i want to share :)

Picture

2009-08-16T03:34:00.000-07:00

Seasonscape.

Like a tree we change our colours
Depending on the seasons
Now the forest's on fire
With Autumn Red
And fall to ground
When things get too cold
We are what our feelings show

So follow your heart
Do not take back what's fallen apart
Leave it behind it's a sin to be angry
But it'll never get old
Cause feelings are changing
We are what our feelings show

Bloom with this warmth on my skin
Feel the seasons all changing to spring
Now into Summers' Green
But it's all repeating
And everything is changing
We are what our feelings show

So follow your heart
Do not take back what's fallen apart
Leave it behind it's a sin to be angry
But it'll never get old
Cause feelings are changing
We are what our feelings show.

:)

him,her and us

2009-08-14T14:35:00.001-07:00

I realise, i miss family.
i miss dinner together.
i miss going out together.
i miss looking into her room without having it locked.
i miss those days he goes "hey sweets".
i miss times when they look at each other and not have that awkward silence.
i fucking miss family.

i don't know who to blame it on. Whatever it is, to me, he is a man. A man i would really like to grow up as and definitely follow in his footsteps. She made a mistake, how many more? I've enough, but im silenced. I hope you realise. Is a family even a privilege? It just ain't right.

All i can say is cherish. Cherish family, cherish משפחה.

Sick Sickly

2009-08-13T03:41:00.000-07:00

Not for the faint hearted.

http://forum.uncoverreality.com/audio-video/52789-murderers-brutally-kill-man-camera-beware-sickest-thing-you-will-ever-see.html

It's a video on this 3 Russian dudes who brutally murdered an innocent guy for their own sickly pleasures and videoed the entire thing down. One of the most fucked up video i've ever seen in my life. Seriously i don't even know why im posting it down HAHA maybe it cause i haven't much to say anyways. Warning: The video can cause vomitting, nausea, dysphoria and depression. Hardcore enough? haha watch at your own risk. Oh btw it isn't normal murder like a gunshot to the head and such. It's more of puncturing a screwdriver into the tummy and eye and also the mauling of his head with a hammer. We just don't know but the world is seriously fucked up. Fuck these guys.

And for this entire week it has been so boring which explains why there isn't anything on this blog cause it'll all be the same, waking up at 4pm, eat, computer, sleep. Professional bum! And where is the song we recorded! It's suppose to be done mixing by sunday, it's already thursday and still nothing #&@(*!%)&#*()@!.
K done :P

We're In Like Sin

2009-08-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

Marionettes and Mannequins

Lets cut to the chase
The matter of you playing me insane
You left me to fend all alone
Defenceless against your tone

You took my heart and returned it in pieces
Like a book just for rent just you burnt all the pages
And made history this story about you and me
How can i forget let forgive

Surmount the amount of your made up stories
Comparable to the tears that i cried
Your phrases so beautifully raised now razed
Enough of your lipstick deceit

You took my heart and returned it in pieces
Like a book just for rent just you burnt all the pages
And made history this story about you and me
How can i forget let forgive

I thought i knew you
Dont we all think we thought we knew
Your masquerade is over
You blew all the covers
Now unmask the true you
The one that we never thought we knew was you

You took my heart and returned it in pieces
Like a book just for rent just you burnt all the pages
And made history this story about you and me
How can i forget let forgive

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Worthless Bloodshed

You paint your dreams
While they colour their nightmares
Or so it seems
We just pretend that we care
A war they all fight but everyone is dying
With no one to kill but the hunger inside

We sit and wait for the sun to rise
But what happens to the side it has left behind?
Now they wait for the only light they seek
Just to realise it would only set again
Think about it our world is sick
Show that you care or so to speak.

Oh by the way, the first post is by limian wasn't me :P

2009-08-08T06:49:00.001-07:00

HI I AM AN ASS. WHOOP-DEE-DOO